Phebe's Birth

                                       

Just over a month ago we welcomed sweet Phebe Jean into our family. Phebe (pronounced Phoebe or fee-bee) is named after a fifth great-grandmother of mine, Phebe Draper Palmer Brown, who was one of my first ancestors to join the Mormon Church. She was born in Rome, NY, grew up in Canada, moved to Kirtland, OH, crossed the plains, marched with the Mormon Battalion to San Diego, and eventually settled Draper, UT, where she taught school and was the postmistress. She was a very courageous woman who did many hard things, including losing a child to a fire accident, losing her first husband, and raising three families besides her own biological children. Really, when I think about her life, I am awestruck. I can’t imagine doing what she did. I feel like a wimp! I can’t wait to meet her in the next life and learn from her. 

Phebe Jean is also named after my grandmother, Jean Sheranian, who I grew up next-door to in Los Angeles. She passed away two and a half years ago from ovarian cancer, and was very ill for her last year or so. But I remember her as an energetic, fun grandma. Really, I can’t think of anyone else who encapsulates the word vivacious more that she did. She truly was full of life: serving, planning, working, cooking, vacationing, reading, going to movies and concerts and the theater, and serving in the Church. 

And I feel like these two ancestors of mine were very likely present for Phebe’s birth. I did not have a profound spiritual experience, but I was told in the blessing that Brent gave me before we left for the hospital that I would have the help of ancestors. And while giving birth I felt more inner strength, steadiness, and calmness of mind than I knew I had.

Phebe’s birth was amazing. After laboring for two days to bring Isaac into the world, I was expecting another long labor, but Phebe was born less than eight hours after I felt the first contraction. In fact, we arrived at the hospital just an hour and a half before she was born! 

39 Weeks-- just two days before she was born
Isn't it funny how pregnancy makes your nose swell?

I had been preparing to give birth without an epidural. But since I had an epidural with Isaac, I wasn't sure A) if I wanted to have an unmediated birth and B) if I could hold up under pressure and actually do it, even if part of me wanted to.

I have nothing against epidurals, but my epidural experience with Isaac wasn't ideal. And there was part of me that wanted to do it just to experience it and see if I could. (Kind of like running a marathon, I'd say . . . except I'd never do that. Haha!) I decided to just take things as they went. I didn't set my expectations either way so that I could make the decision I needed to in the moment. But I did practice relaxation and breathing to prepare myself. 

I went into labor a little after midnight and labored own my own for about four hours before I woke up Brent. During that time, I focused on sleeping as much as I could and drinking as much as I could. I learned from Isaac's birth (the hard way) that rest and hydration are essential! 

And really, I was able to rest between contractions and stay positive and calm. It wasn't so bad. In fact, I wasn't worried about getting to the hospital at all. My contractions were manageable and were only 30 seconds-1 minute long. But once I got into the shower, they started coming 3 minutes apart, so my midwife said I should come in. 

Once we were packing up and heading to the hospital, however, it was clear we needed to get there fast. The contractions were really strong. (Thank you to Natalie who came over at the crack of dawn to watch Isaac!)

Brent helped me stay focused and calm and put counter-pressure on my back. But I wanted to get there ASAP. Consciously I didn't think I was that far progressed in labor, but I felt an urgency to get to the hospital. In the car, I kept telling Brent to hurry. 

When we got there, the nurses pretty much attacked me with my IV because I needed to get one round of antibiotics in my system before the baby was born. When the midwife checked me, she said, "You're at 9 1/2. We're going to have this baby before my shift ends (which was in about 90 minutes)." I couldn't believe it. 

In my mind, I freaked out, but only for a second: "Can I do this without an epidural? AH! I'm not sure. . . . Well, I guess I'm already doing it. So, we're just going to do this!!" 

The truth is, looking back, I was already in the zone-- meaning I was caught up in the moment taking one contraction at a time, not really thinking about how long it was going to take or how things were going to happen. In my birthing classes we had talked about this, but I had never gotten to this point with Isaac. It really is a different mental state that is really helpful when giving birth. It's like your body stops your mind from thinking too much so that you can stay calm. 

And with the help of my amazing midwife Titi, and my even more amazing husband, Brent, who wins the Husband Doula of the Year award, Phebe was born at 7:49 AM weighing in at 9 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long! A big, fat, sweet baby! Brent caught her and cut the cord. Just look at that proud daddy: 

                                             

                                      

                                     

I was pretty wiped out, and honestly didn't even care that I had just had a baby. I was just glad labor was over! But it wasn't hard to fall in love with that sweet face. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. 

Just look at those cheeks!

                                   

She looks like a 1 month old-- but she really is 1 day old!

                       

Isaac meeting his sister for the first time

Isaac's "Cheese!" Face

First Family Photo

My 1/4 Japanese Blondie Girl! 

After a birth like that, I'm glad we decided to name this baby girl Phebe. Just like her namesake, she has already taught me that I can do hard things!

The Nursery

This is our "nursery" which is really just one side of our bedroom. But I think it turned out pretty cute! And thank you to Stacy Davis for selling me her arm chair for a great deal. It is the best place to nurse ever!!!

Valentines Day

This weekend, I realized that this is only the fourth Valentine's Day Brent and I have spent together. That seems kind of crazy when we are just about to have our second child. We've packed in a lot of life in four years! 

First Valentines Day (2011)

Brent and I had been married for six months and had known each other for just under a year. (We met on February 19, 2010.) Brent brought me home a huge balloon that lasted for about four months! and a beautiful rose. And I made the most gourmet dinner of my life (probably before or since): chicken fettuccine alfredo (with pasta made from scratch), pesto bruschetta, roasted asparagus, and "Brent Bait," which is what we call fruit salad tossed with pistachio-flavored whipped cream. It was good I went all out, because honestly it's probably the only time it's going to happen in the next few years . . . 

Second Valentine's Day (2012)

I think we did a low-key dinner or takeout at home, but I did pull out all the stops for my gift. I made homemade fortune cookies, with love notes inside each one.  I had a 2-month-old baby and on the day of Valentines realized I had nothing to give Brent. . . And shopping really wasn't an option because my sister, Marie, was borrowing my car. So, I found this idea online, and luckily had all the ingredients. And they turned out okay, although it took making about 30 fortune cookies to get these four good-looking ones. Ha ha. 

Third Valentines Day (2013)

Last year, Isaac was old enough to get his first Valentine! And probably the cutest one I've ever seen! We did dinner at home again, and although it looks really gourmet, it took me a fraction of the time as the meal from our first year together. (It's all about presentation!) I did make Creme Brulee though, which wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. As you can tell, Brent loved it. I gave him homemade trail mix and he got me gold earrings. Hmmmm.... I sense some disparity between those gifts. . . . . but if you count the meal and dessert, I think it's pretty even. :-)

Fourth Valentines Day (2014)

This year, we got takeout again, but Brent took me on a very lovely date the day after. We went to the temple and Red Fish Grill, which is officially my new favorire restaurant in Houston. Our meal was incredible! I surprised the boys by picking up donuts in the morning, and Isaac and I went to a party sin his friends. Then on Saturday we went to Herman Park to ride the train. It was a fantastic weekend and the last one we would have as a family of three!

Birth Plans and Patients' Rights

The more experience I get in the medical world, the more I realize how much you have to advocate for yourself as a patient. I think the vast majority of doctors are very competent and have their patients' best interests at heart, but often, because they are busy and stressed like the rest of us, things get left unsaid or unexplored. So often, you as the patient have to ask for the test, request the medication, or present an alternative. And this is very true of giving birth as well.

Of course you cannot control or plan everything about your birth, but there are a lot of things that you can request. I feel like, in general, mothers who plan on unmedicated births are much more likely to write birth plans than those who are not, but really there is a lot that you have control over no matter what type of birth you are having--even a planned cesarean.

I won't share all of my birth preferences because they are personal (i.e. too graphic) for my blog, but here is the majority of what my health care providers and I have discussed and have in writing:

Labor

      Pain relief: I plan to take things as they go. I am not opposed to an epidural, but I would like to try laboring without one. I don’t feel comfortable using any other pain medication options, but would be willing to consider them if there is a good reason for it.

            My husband: Brent would like to be involved and supportive during labor and delivery. He would like guidance from the midwife/nurses as to how to best assist me during the process.
Emotional/Mental Support: I had a very hard time focusing during labor with my first baby, and would really appreciate any emotional/mental support the midwife or nurse feels comfortable giving. I am the type that needs firm direction and help staying calm and focused. And I also am the type that seems to thrive with support and company, so you really can’t help too much.

       

Post-Birth Requests

Delayed cord cutting: We would like to delay cutting the umbilical cord for 3-5 minutes. (For information about why we are choosing to do this, here is a great four-part lecture you can watch on YouTube. But the short explanation is that it is better for the baby to wait.)
Request postponing newborn procedures: If possible, we would like to postpone newborn procedures to allow for bonding and breastfeeding. (This means the baby won't get eyedrops, bathed, weighed, etc. until after I get to hold and feed her.This is important because a) she'll be able to see me if there's not stuff in her eyes and b) newborns are most alert right after birth which gives breastfeeding a good headstart.) 

    

      Is there anything that you've requested in a birth plan that has been helpful to you? 

A Lesson on Chocolate

This is an essay I wrote for the Central Utah Writing Project-- a professional development course I took the summer Brent and I were engaged. I had signed up for it before I knew I would shortly be leaving the teaching profession, but I'm so glad I did. It was the best professional development experience I ever had!

Just imagine a bunch of teachers getting together to eat good food, write, and share their writing. I know not everyone would think that was heaven, but I have a few friends out there who I know would agree with me. It was awesome!

This essay started out as a "Scribble"-- a quick morning writing prompt--but later expanded into a longer piece. I rediscovered it today and thought it would be fun to share. The only thing is that in the four years since writing this, I think I have officially become a chocolate snob. Anything other than good-quality chocolate just doesn't tempt me. And the only chocolate chips I keep around the house now are Ghirardelli bittersweet (yes, not semisweet, but bittersweet). I kind of like to think I'm hard-core.

Here's the essay:

A Lesson on Chocolate

By Sarah Sheranian

Chocolate—considered a candy by some, a food group by others—is by far the most sophisticated sweet. Its history goes back to the Mayans and Aztecs who used cacao beans to make a bitter drink reserved for royalty. When Spanish explorers arrived, they recognized chocolate’s value, and soon a sweetened version was served in every royal court in Europe. Now over 40,000 different types of chocolate are manufactured in the world, but every chocolate lover will quickly tell you that not all chocolate is equal. 

About a year ago, a close friend who knew I am a chocolate purest—the higher cocoa content the better—invited me to a chocolate tasting party. For $10 we could taste the finest chocolate in the world and hear a lecture about it. We arrived at a small home in Springville where the host, an engineer and chocolate connoisseur, invited us into his cozy living room. He passed out lists of the 12 different chocolates we would try, as well as water and French bread to cleanse the palette between each taste. 

We began with a lesson on chocolate tasting. The first step before you even put the chocolate in your mouth is to look at it. Notice the luster and color of the chocolate; high quality chocolate should be dark and shiny. Next, you smell it. This helps improve your ability to taste the chocolate once in your mouth. Lastly, you eat the chocolate slowly, allowing it to melt in your mouth, paying attention to its smoothness, initial taste, and after taste. Following each chocolate sample, we took notes on our observations and then discussed our reactions: “Rich and earthy,” “Fruity and tart,” “A soft beginning, but a strong end.” It was like a book club about chocolate.

I had always known that no two chocolates are alike. Even as a little girl, I avoided generic chocolate bunnies and gold coins from the dollar store. And I always thought tootsie rolls shamed the name of chocolate. As a teenager I truly realized this was so when my best friend brought me back a Nestle bar (70% cocoa content) from France. The chocolate was more pure and intense than anything I had ever tasted. As little bits of cocoa beans crunched in my mouth, I realized how much Nestle takes advantage of underdeveloped American palates. We were definitely buying different stuff under the same name. 

My sensitivity to chocolate was proven when I won a chocolate tasting competition at family camp one summer. We had to identify Nestle, Hershey, Ghirardelli, Swiss, and Spanish chocolate—all while blindfolded. It was easier than I expected to sense the milky smoothness of Swiss chocolate, the dark richness of Spanish chocolate, and the familiar, pleasing taste of Ghirardelli, which I always preferred.

But the chocolate at this party was on a different plane. Expensive. Refined. Exotic. I had never experienced anything like it. Light as silk, it quickly melted almost before I had a chance to chew. I was transported to lush plantations in Madagascar, Venezuela, and Indonesia—plantations owned by local farmers, plantations that use the same farming techniques as in ancient Mesoamerica, plantations that grow mangoes and papaya along side the cacao to give it better flavor. I tasted the soil, the crops that grew there before the cacao: rich flavors that surprised my taste buds with new sensations every second.

With so many different flavors in one bite, our taste buds were on guard. We sat on the edges of our seats in silent concentration as we tried each new chocolate. Then, in an eruption of “Ooos,” “Ahhs,” and “Blahs,” we expressed our reactions. One of the main topics of discussion was the aftertaste. I didn’t realize how important aftertaste was in the enjoyment of chocolate. Some chocolates left a bitter reminder imprinted on your tongue, while others left a dull sweetness lingering behind. You couldn’t cleanse your palette too quickly or you might miss this important element in chocolate tasting.

Now I must be honest: not all of the samples were pleasant. Real chocolate, like every other fine food I suppose, is an acquired taste, and my taste buds were unaccustomed to such an array of sensations. That was to be expected. What wasn’t to be expected was my reaction to a very familiar chocolate. After tasting five chocolates from the finest cocoa fields in the world, we each ate a piece of regular milk chocolate Dove candy. All of us thought, “Oh good. Something I know.” But we were about to get the shock of our lives: the taste of gasoline with a hint of peanut butter (and it was not peanut butter candy). The chocolate was waxy and heavy, its poor quality sticking to our teeth. None of us could believe that we had willingly purchased and eaten it before.

Luckily, we finished the night with some higher quality samples. The last chocolates we tasted were from Chocolatier Blue—a chocolatier company that prides itself in making the highest quality chocolates in the world. Supposedly they have searched out the finest ingredients available from premium raw butter to pistachios from Sicily which they purchase for $100 a pound. There are only two stores: one in Berkeley, CA and one in Salt Lake City, and since the chocolates are about $4 a piece, we each got to try only half of a truffle. The one I chose was dusted with gold leaf. I’m not sure if I could really taste the price, but it was good.

For a long time after the chocolate party, I refrained from eating any “unworthy” chocolate. But following the natural course of chaos, I regressed back into my old ways. Don’t get me wrong—I still know what good chocolate should taste like, but when presented with the average chocolate, I do eat. In fact, I usually have a bag of regular chocolate chips in my cupboard to curb a craving if I get one. As much as I’d like to be a chocolate snob, I am just a wannabe.

This essay started with Debbie’s candy scribble on the first day of class. The only candy I really like is chocolate, so that’s where I began, and a flood of memories followed. Thank you to all the CUWPies for their positive responses that helped me turn this piece into something more. 

What are your thoughts on chocolate? 

The Perils of Overreacting

The week before Christmas, I got into a minor car accident-- with myself. Oh why can't we go back and undo our dumb mistakes?!

While I was pulling out of a parking spot after visiting a friend, I thought to myself, "I think there's a pole back there." So I looked in my rear-view mirror, but I didn't see anything. Two seconds later I hit it. 

Now this is where I made the big mistake: I completely overreacted. I think I was in shock because I had just thought I hadn't seen anything. So, at this point my body took over my mind in full-out "fight or flight" mode, which for me meant flight.

I didn't think about doing any of this-- it just happened before I could even think: I immediately put the car in drive and pulled forward, but did so MUCH too fast and without any conscious thought. So... we hit another pole in the front. I screamed and put the car in reverse and then came to a stop. I took a few deep breaths, and Isaac said, "Sorry, Mama." Sweet boy. He is still rear facing, so he saw the first hit, but not the second, which was much more severe.  

I got out of the car and first looked at the back. This is where I got a big surprise. There was virtually no damage to the back of the car--only a little bit of paint scratched off. That means if I had just put on the brakes after we hit the pole and had done nothing else, we would have been totally fine. 

BUT because I overreacted, there was serious damage to the front of my car. The right headlight and the whole bumper were destroyed. And it cost us $1400 to repair! Bah!!! I think even when I reversed after hitting the second pole some damage might have been done. 

The blessing in this is that two repairmen from the complex immediately came to my aid. I burst into tears, and they were really worried about me-- a hysterical pregnant woman with a toddler in the back seat. They asked if I would like them to remove my bumper so I could drive home. I told them I needed to think about it. So, after calling Brent and weighing options, we decided to have them do it. They brought out their tools and zip ties, and patched my car together so I could drive home. 

Later in the day, Brent picked up my bumper so I could take it to the body shop. The bumper itself wasn't salvageable, but parts of it were, so it was good we brought it in. 

The reason I share this super embarrassing story is so that you can learn from my stupid mistake. When you hit something, JUST STOP. If it's safe, get out of the car to assess the situation before you do anything else!!! 

The big life lesson for me was that sometimes our reactions to things cause way bigger problems than the actual problem! Unfortunately, this seems to be a pattern in my life . . . When will I learn? 

Here's hoping I can keep this car in once piece from now on!

Christmas 2013

We stayed in Houston this Christmas, and although we were separated from most of our family, we had a really wonderful holiday.



We spent Christmas Eve morning walking at the arboretum, and Isaac was in heaven finding and carrying around sticks.

In the afternoon, we made snickerdoodles together, and I let Isaac help "roll" the dough. You can see his "ball" on the pan in the second picture. Ha ha. Good try, Isaac. 

And then for Christmas Eve, we had 4 other couples over for dinner-- with 2 more toddlers, so 13 people in all. Our apartment was a little cozy, but the food was AMAZING, and I love that I didn't have to cook all of it. And it was so fun to share the evening with friends. Plus, who could be cuter than this Joseph and Mary? 

Here's what our living room looked like after Santa came. There really is something that feels magical about the anticipation of giving and receiving gifts. Most of these gifts were sent from family and friends across the country. 

And here is Isaac on Christmas morning with his favorite present: packing peanuts! 

We didn't talk about Santa this year, but Isaac-- with his birthday in December-- was very familiar with opening presents, so we had such a fun morning. Isaac opened everyone's presents, which was fine with us. Then we had Emily and Andrew over for a nice brunch and hung out with them for the morning in our pjs. Really, it couldn't have been better. 

I just love the music, lights, and feelings of Christmas. It was such a wonderful month. Brent took me to see Handel's Messiah performed by the Houston Symphony, I went to another local concert that was amazing, we went to the temple, to a movie, to the zoo. So much good-quality family time. Both Brent and I are tempted to say we may never travel for Christmas again. :-) (Don't worry, Mom and Okaasan, I'm sure that's not completely true.)

And here is a picture of my favorite house in the neighborhood next to us. This doesn't do the real thing justice. Just look at that tree by the front door! Talk about a lot of lights! 

And thank you to all of you who sent us beautiful Christmas and New Years cards. It was so fun to see your cute families and read about your adventures. With this baby coming, I thought it would make more sense to hold off on sending something to friends. But please know that we appreciate your friendship so much and hope you had a wonderful Christmas! 

Isaac's 2nd Birthday Party

For Isaac's 2nd birthday, did a combined party with Isaac's friend who is just 8 days younger (and about 8 lbs bigger). The plan was to tour the fire station and have lunch at the park. But the day of, the weather was like this:

          

It poured buckets as we drove to the fire station! Luckily, I was able to reserve a room in the church and we quickly set up beforehand. And everything worked out wonderfully . . . except for the fact that Isaac was nervous, wouldn't climb on any of the trucks, and tried to leave the party the whole time. I guess the "It's My Party . . . " song fits well here. 

          

         

At least Dad got some time in the driver's seat:

             

And thankfully was the one to chase after Isaac: 

         

             

             

             

Overall, it was a great success! And my friend, Suzanne, got better pictures than I did, so once I get them from her, I will update this post. 

Motherhood Gratitude List

Earlier this year, I started a Learning Circle through Power of Moms, the website that I’m a volunteer editor for. November’s theme was Valuing Motherhood, and our assignment was to answer this question:

What are you most grateful for about being a mother? What has motherhood taught you

or helped you to gain? Make a list of the “top 10” things you're grateful for as a mother at

this point in your life and be ready to share a few things from your list at our next meeting.

So here is my Top 10 List (after being a mom for just under 2 years):

1. I’m grateful for the deep sense of purpose and identity that motherhood has given me. No matter what, I will always be Isaac’s mother. Because of his needs, I have daily purpose. But ultimately, because I helped create his body and am responsible for his care and nurturing on this earth, I have eternal purpose as well. I feel great peace because of this sense of meaning and direction I have in my life.

2. I’m grateful for the opportunity to witness the miracle of human development so closely. I studied child and adolescent development in college, but it never mattered or amazed me like Isaac’s development and progress does. It is truly a pleasure to be a part of it.

3. I’m grateful for the unity and shared love that becoming parents has brought to my marriage. Isaac and Baby #2 are our greatest projects, our greatest hobbies, and no one loves them like we do.

4. I’m grateful for how indescribably beautiful, wonderful, and delicious your own baby is. And I’m grateful that in those baby months I was able to enjoy endless kisses.

5. I’m grateful for the laughter, smiles, and tickle flights Isaac brings into my life. My sense of humor is one of my weaker attributes, but Isaac helps bring it out of me.

6. I’m grateful for the opportunity to, in a small way, taste the love God has for me. The love a parent has for a child is different than any other type of love.

7. I’m grateful for the freedom and fun that comes with motherhood. The reality is that while my husband is in an office at a laptop all day, I sit outside while Isaac plays, occasionally go on fun outings, and have time to work on whatever I want to during nap time (at least until this baby comes . . . ).

8. I’m grateful for the opportunity to teach. I’ve always loved teaching, and now that I’m a mother, teaching is a natural part of my life.

9. I usually don’t feel grateful for the way motherhood challenges and stretches me, but I know in future years, I will be grateful for the creativity, patience, understanding, and coping techniques I will have developed as a result of motherhood.

10. I’m grateful for the love I receive as a mom. Although Isaac can’t express much yet, he shows his love for me in his eagerness to see me and share with me his discoveries, in his need for me when he is distressed, and by his desire to play with me and read with me. In the hectic moments, it’s hard to feel this love, but the overall base level of love in my life has definitely increased with motherhood.

Children's Museum

Houston has a fantastic children's museum, and we went with some good friends in October. Isaac loved shopping for food, pretending to be a Vet at the Pet Hospital, and painting. He still watches the video of himself painting over and over again. It's so fun to go places with him now. He's my little bud.