And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives is by John M. Gottman and his wife Julie. They are the marriage therapists featured in the book Blink by Malcolm Galdwell, if you've read that. And this book is based on a years and years of research that they have done.
Really I think this is probably very similar to their other books (although I haven't read them) with a baby spin. It focuses on how to resolve conflicts in marriage-- but specifically those that arise after a baby is born. They talk about how statistically marriages don't fare well after a baby is born, but if you have the right skills that you will be fine. They also talk about how the tone of your marriage will affect your baby. Babies feel calmer and more secure when their parents are at peace.
The book was a helpful review, but I'm not sure I learned anything new. Basically what I took away is that we will both be tired and stressed after the baby comes and that we will need to be patient with each other, calmly resolve conflict, and proactively make plans to nourish our relationship. The end.
5 comments:
Whoa you have a blog! Yay! Jeff often jokes (or maybe seriously says?) that he will not be my baby anymore, once we have kids. I think we might need to read this book!
Thanks for all the reviews, Sarah. Now I know which ones to read and which ones I've already "read" by readying your summaries. :) You're going to be a great mom. (You would be even if you didn't read books to prepare, but I think the fact that you do read says something about you. :))
Hope you're feeling pretty good!
Dave actually found an article on the Wall Street Journal a few months back (right before our baby was born) that addressed this same issue. I wish I could remember the exact stats, but according to their research, about 1/3 surveyed said having kids negatively impacted their relationship, another 1/3 thought it didn't affect it, and the last 1/3 said that having kids actually improved their relationship! Dave and I definitely fall in the last category, and we think that's because our relationship was already good before and we had already figured out some ways to manage stress together.
I'll have to second Elizabeth--I really feel like our marriage has grown leaps and bounds since Luke arrived, but I also think it's because we'd already had practice dealing with stress together and working through problems. I think the statistics about marriage quality and kids are pretty heavily influenced by "surprise" babies, when having kids isn't something both mom and dad have wanted and waited and prepared together for. Thanks for all your great book reviews! Makes me feel a little better that my reading pile is so giant. :)
Hi Sarah! I'd been meaning to check back on your blog, and I'm so glad I did. Congratulations! Thanks for all these book reviews. They will definitely come in handy someday. I'm adding your blog to my blog's list. So glad things are going well in TX. Have you been teaching/subbing since I saw you last?
Post a Comment