Tender Mercies

The most amazing thing happened yesterday. But to understand the story, I need to give some background.

My sister, Marie, is serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the South Dakota Rapid City Mission. She received her assignment less than 6 weeks after President Monson announced a change in the age requirement for missionaries. For years, girls have had to wait until age 21 to serve, while boys could serve at 19. Now, boys can go at 18 and girls can go at 19!

This change in policy was life changing for our family-- and a tender mercy all on its own. Marie, who does not turn 21 until September, really wanted to serve. But the timing of her birthday was inconvenient considering her education schedule. When the prophetic announcement was made, Marie and my mom (and me) started crying because we knew what this would mean for Marie--and for the Church, and for missionary work, and for women all over the world.

And it meant Marie could go immediately! Within just a few weeks, she submitted her application, which is quite a feat considering that the process requires a physical exam, dental exam, multiple interviews, etc. And just a few weeks after that, she received her call to South Dakota. She reported to the Missionary Training Center on Feburary 20th, and just a week ago Monday she arrived in Rapid City. There, she received her first assignment to serve in Gillette, WY (pictured above).

Mare's mission covers North and South Dakota and parts of Wyoming, Iowa, and Minnesota. I'm not sure on the exact stats, but I would be willing to bet that Marie's mission has the lowest population density of any mission in the United States. There just aren't a lot of people who live up there. In fact, before yesterday, if you had asked me if I knew anyone that lived in her mission boundaries, I would have told you, "Nope, not a one."

But when I found out she was assigned to serve in Gillette, I thought the name sounded familiar (and not because of the razor company). I told my mom, "I think I've heard of Gillette. I must know someone from there, because otherwise, why would I have ever heard of it?"

Gillette is a town of 30,000 (which is big for Wyoming), but it's in the northeastern part of the state-- far away from Yellowstone and the other big Wyoming attractions. I had never been anywhere near it. I did a quick search on Facebook to see if anything would come up if I typed in Gillette or Wyoming. No luck. Oh well, I must have been wrong. So I didn't think much of it after that.

But last night, my friend Crystal (who served with me as a missionary in South Africa) wrote on my wall: "Guess who I met tonight??? Um a wonderful sister missionary by the last name of Sheranian :D Yep she's serving in my town (Gillette, WY)!! She says hi and that she loves you :D"

And then it all clicked. Crystal is from Alaska, but I do remember seeing something on Facebook about her getting a teaching job in Gillette!

And so the tender mercy: Marie, during her first week as a missionary (which is usually filled with a roller-coaster of emotions as you realize you are with people you don't know, doing something you don't really know how to do, in a place you don't know, and you're going to be there for a year and a half!) meets the one and perhaps ONLY person that anyone in her family knows in her entire mission boundaries. Not only that, but the person she meets was someone that her sister served with as a missionary. Someone who is very familiar with the name tag Sister Sheranian (and even knows how to pronounce it). Some may say it was coincidence, but to me-- and I'm sure to Marie-- it was a tender mercy. 

A tender mercy is a gift from God-- an event where a small, almost coincidental miracle occurs. Nothing big. But to believers, it is a sign that God is watching over them. 

And God is watching over Marie. He is in the details of her life, and yours, and mine. I forget that so often. But in moments like these, it is undeniable. 


. . . . .


So just a few hours after finishing this post, I experienced the power of tender mercies again! 

I was shopping at Costco and saw a woman I know from church a couple checkout lines down from me. Her cart was FULL of food, which I knew was to feed her growing kids. I wasn't close enough to say hello, but after I checked out and started walking towards the exit, I saw her again. This time she was talking to the cashier and looked distressed. So I walked up to her and asked if she needed help. She explained that her husband had taken her checkbook and debit card and that she had nothing to pay with! 

It was so amazing to me that I was there at exactly the right time. So I swiped my credit card and she arranged to pay me. I didn't feel any particular prompting to be at Costco at that exact time, but I did feel prompted to go up to her and ask what was wrong. I could have easily walked past, and I'm so glad I didn't! There is nothing better than becoming a tool in the Lord's hands to work a tender mercy for someone else. 

My Sweet 14-Month-Old

My friend, Olya, took these adorable pictures of Isaac. Isn't he a cutie? My favorites are the last two. But these raccoon ones melt my heart as well. :-) Actually, let's be honest: I love them all! 

I love this age! I think I've felt that way about every age, but it just keeps getting more fun. Isaac loves to read, and he will bring books to me throughout the day. His new thing is that he hands me a book and then runs to the couch because he knows that's where we sit to read. I love it when he sits on my lap and rests his head against my chest. It's our time to relax.

Isaac is a really good eater, but drinking has been a challenge for us. He is officially weaned, and really, it was the smoothest transition ever. I was the one that had been pushing nursing for the last 3 months because I was worried about his liquid intake and diet (due to his allergies). But my milk dried up, and nursing became a futile cause. So, we just stopped, and he hasn't even cared. Talk about an easy transition.

But getting him to drink enough has not been easy. I put sippy cups around the house, but if it were up to him, he would drink less than 8 oz a day. So, I offer, offer, offer. If I offer a lot and spoon feed him a bowl of cereal and oat milk, he can get around 20 oz down-- but that is still 4 oz shy of what is supposedly the absolute minimum he's supposed to be drinking. ACK! Any suggestions there? We did buy a straw cup, but I'm still not sure if he prefers that. We've tried Nesquick in the oat milk. I even blended up fresh strawberries to make a smoothie-like drink, and he wouldn't drink that. So the only things he drinks are watered-down juice and water. I'm hoping this is just a phase and that he will start liking chocolate oat milk. What kid doesn't like chocolate milk?

His new skills include walking backwards (he does it when he's trying to see what's on top of the counter), spinning in circles, crawling up the stairs (I let him climb all the staircases in our complex as we s-l-o-w-l-y make our way to the mail box), eating with a fork, and saying a few words! He is not a big talker and rarely says these words, but he has said all of them multiple times on his own:

dada
ba (ball)
teh-teh (Teddy)
buh (book)
buh-buh (bubble)
nuh-nuh (no no)
puh-puh (poke poke) -- This is what we tell him to do when he's eating with a fork.
ickle ickle (tickle)

The thing he says the most is "DUH!" Which is pretty much the equivalent of "THAT!" He points and says "duh!" to whatever he wants. It's cute, but I'm excited for him to become more verbal.

Life with a one-year-old is very sweet.

Laughing at Myself

Usually I have a hard time laughing at myself, but today Brent and I had a good, hard laugh about a naive mistake I made.

Today when I was walking into Costco, I noticed a woman walking out who had a big black smudge on her forehead.

I thought, "Oh dear. When that poor woman gets home and looks in the mirror, she's going to think, 'Why didn't anyone tell me I had a huge smudge on my face?!"'

But then, as I walked through the store I saw other women with this strange black mark, so I thought, "There must be a booth where they are offering free samples of some strange beauty product.'

As I continued through the store, I saw another woman who didn't have the mark and thought, "Ah, see she didn't get a free sample. When they offer me one, I'm not going to get it either." However, I never saw the booth, checked out, went on with my day, and never thought anything of it. Until Brent came home and I told him the story.

"The weirdest thing happened today," I said, "It was like from a sitcom." And I told him the story. I didn't get  through more than one sentence when he said, "It's Ash Wednesday."

Boy, did we laugh.

How dense can I be? Well let me just say that I don't remember ever in my life seeing someone observe Ash Wednesday. Maybe I have, but not that I remember. Brent says he has only seen people observe it since moving to Houston. I guess my other two Ash Wednesdays in Houston must have been spent at home-- or in stores where the less-devout shop. (Which could be true since today I went to Walmart after Costco, and there was not an ash to be seen. I doubt there's a correlation, but since I didn't see anyone outside of Costco with the mark, it did support my free-sample theory.)

Ah well, it was all worth a good laugh!

Four Seasons

About a week ago I was taking a walk with Isaac on a beautiful warm day. Technically, it was winter since it was January-- and most of the trees are bare, but the warm sunshine felt reminiscent of summer. At the same time, the crisp breeze and floating leaves made it seem like fall, and the blooming flowers and a passing butterfly made me think, "Wait, is it spring?"

Who says Houston doesn't have four seasons? We just experience them simultaneously.

Hypothyroid Update

It's been two months now since I started taking medication for hypothyroid, and I can feel such a difference! Yesterday, I worked out, took Isaac to the park, ran an errand, cooked dinner, and tidied up the house-- ALL IN THE SAME DAY!!! You have no idea what a miracle that is for me. In 2012, there was not one day when I did ALL of those things, and especially without taking a nap, or laying down on the couch at least 3 times. I feel like myself again. And it feels so good! I'm actually crying as I write this because I feel so, so grateful to be back to normal.

Sleeping Through the Night

I just have to share with you, friends, a personal victory: I am sleeping through the night! This is a big deal--because between getting up to go to the bathroom while pregnant, getting up for a baby, and dealing with post-baby sleep anxiety and other sleep problems, I haven't been able to sleep for 7-8 hours straight for about 2 years. We finally taught Isaac to sleep completely through the night (7:30 pm to 7:30 am) in November, but it still took me a long time after that to not wake up.

Part of the problem is that I am a super light sleeper: when the AC kicks on, I wake up. So, when the AC runs 300 nights out of the year, that's a lot of disrupted sleep. But another big problem is what I've learned to call my "sleep hygiene," a term used in the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0. I picked up this book initially to help me with one of my new year's resolutions (to increase my emotional capacity). In it, the authors (Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves) suggest "cleaning up your sleep hygiene" in order to improve self-management (or the ability to manage your own emotions). For me, this was a no-brainer connection. I clearly can control my emotions better when I get enough sleep. But what they discussed as far as "cleaning up" sleep was new to me.

To get better quality sleep, they suggested to 1) Get twenty minutes of morning sunlight, 2) Turn off the computer at least two hours before bedtime, 3) Keep your bed for sleeping (don't work on your laptop in bed), and 4) Avoid caffeine. For me #1 and #2 have not been happening. And so this week I've worked on getting outside in the morning and not using the computer at night. And it's worked. I have slept so much better. I also get to bed earlier because I'm not on the computer to get sucked into doing something (that is probably unnecessary) for an hour.

Another book that helped me was The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantly. I just love this book. She is opposed to cry-it-out, which I am not.... but the book is still the best I've read on getting babies to sleep. Her tone is one of experience and empathy, and the book is well-organized (none of which I can say about Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). One of the book's gems is the last chapter, "Baby's Sleeping (Finally!) but Mommy's Not." She has some great pointers:

• Pay off your sleep debt (at least what you can) by sleeping as much as possible the first few weeks after your baby is sleeping through the night
• Set your body clock by going to bed and waking up at the same times every day
• Take time during the day to write out a to-do list to avoid creating a mental one while lying in bed at night (I have a big problem with this one!)
• Avoid caffeine and watch for the side effects of meds you might be taking
• Exercise (she gives a great list of baby mom-friendly ways to make this happen)
• Make your bedroom comfortable (temperature, noise, light, etc.)
• Have your own bedtime routine
• Eat right and light before sleep
• Encourage relaxation (repeat a familiar mediation (like a scripture), breath slowly while repeating one calming word, use progressive relaxation to relax all your muscles)

I haven't tried all of these things, but now that I've written this list, I'm definitely going to make more adjustments to my routine. I'm hoping that armed with this information (and hopefully new habits) I will able to sleep much better this next year! And hopefully that means I'll be easier to live with too. :-)

Feeding a Child with Allergies

Isaac has quite a few allergies. I haven't taken him to see an allergist yet because 1) it is expensive 2) none of his allergies seem to be life-threatening 3) I have been able to figure out most things he is allergic to on my own and 4) I'm hoping he will grow out of them in a couple years.

In the mean time, we are avoiding milk, rice, soy, bananas, peaches, and nuts (because there is a good chance he could be allergic to them). I am also suspicious of beans in general, but have to do more testing on that one. This means I can't give him bananas, yogurt, or cheese-- which are all convenient, easy-to-eat, high-calorie, baby-friendly foods. And I can't give him rice puffs or anything with milk in the ingredients, which pretty much eliminates everything made for toddlers in the grocery store. I also can't give him tofu or peanut butter-- which normally I would have used as good alternative fat and protein sources. I think this is why he is 21 lbs and in the 16th percentile for weight. (A very healthy weight but definitely on the small side for my family.)

Now these issues are not nearly as difficult as having a child with grain allergies/intolerances or life-threatening allergies. Isaac can still eat bread and pasta. And he can eat cheerios and graham crackers, which he loves. I don't have to worry about being in the same room as a peanut butter sandwich or monitoring his every bite, thank goodness.

The hard part is figuring out what to wean him to. Most babies his age drink cows milk, but that is not an option. And neither is soy, rice, or almond milk. (I actually am going to try rice milk in a few months to see how he does with that one.) Our pediatrician encouraged me to continue nursing him until 18 months and gave me samples of Alimentum, a formula made by Similac. I made pancakes with it (because Isaac refused to drink it after multiple attempts), and Isaac didn't tolerate it well. Thankfully, Dr. Lindsay also gave me a sample of Neocate, a prescription formula that costs $55 a tin (I think insurance can cover it if you really need it.). This  formula is 100% dairy free and pretty much soy free (there is a little soy). The proteins are broken down to the level of amino acids, so it virtually eliminates the possibility of an allergic reaction. I made pancakes with this, and so far so good. I have two cans of it and I'm hoping I can get one more free from the company (I sent in a request).

I'm not sure what I really wanted the point of this post to be. But I guess I just want to acknowledge the miracle that it has been to nurse Isaac for this long. It is a blessing we really, really needed considering his allergies. And I want to say that if you are feeding a child with allergies, I understand. It is a stressful puzzle.

1 Year Old

Isaac turned one on December 15th, but we weren't able to celebrate it because we were all sick. Instead, we celebrated with his Uncle Bryan who turned 15 on the 29th. We were with the Sheranian family in California at Grandpa Sheranian's house. That was special to me because I celebrated each of my birthdays around that dinner table as a child. Grandma Sheranian always prepared any meal you requested (almost always her famous beef stroganoff (made with steak and fresh mushrooms-- none of that ground beef or boxed grossness)) and her equally famous chocolate cake. For my wedding, she gave me her cake plate-- the one that was used for all those birthdays-- which is a treasure to me.

For Isaac's birthday, I made a special dairy-free cake just for him to eat and destroy. (I took off his shirt and everything in case it got messy.) Except I forgot that Isaac isn't the destroying type. Instead, he just carefully poked at it. He didn't even try to eat it until I gave him a little bit. And even after that, he only had a few bites. So it was all kind of anti-climactic. I'm sure he would have eaten more if he had been hungry, but we had just finished eating his favorite dinner dish: elbow macaroni with marinara sauce. However, he still put on a cute show-- clapping and waiting for everyone to join him in applause.

What a year it has been with this little angel. He is the best part of our lives!

Word of the Year: Strengthen

This year I want to be strong. I want to strengthen my marriage, my relationship with God, my body, and my emotional capacity.

A few months ago, I read the book The Happiness Project, which I highly recommend. It left me with a lot to think about, but one of my main takeaways was that "Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy." Or in other words, to be happy, you have to do things you don't want to do. It takes hard work and discipline to read your scriptures, exercise, respond to whining patiently, eat with self-control, not criticize, pray with intent, etc. 

I want more power to do what I know will bring me and my family happiness. And I hope I can access this power by strengthening the areas of my life that matter most.

2012 in Review

We've spent a week in Utah and now are in California, and I have loved spending so much time with family. It's a lot easier to take care of a toddler when you have the help of 3-5 other adults! I've been so spoiled, it's going to be an adjustment when it's back to just me and Isaac during the day.

This last Sunday an elderly lady gave an excellent talk in church. She was energetic, intelligent, well-spoken, and wise. She said that often as we set new year's resolutions we focus on the failures of the previous year. She counseled us to instead focus on the successes. Then for the rest of her talk she spoke of the good in our lives that comes from knowing and living the gospel.

This was something that was so nice for me to hear, because looking back on the last year it's easy for me to see the ways I fell short. In fact, in many ways I have felt weaker this year than perhaps any other.  But I also have so much to be grateful for.

Gratitude was the word I chose for 2012. I definitely did not perfect or even remember that this was my goal for the year, but here are some things I'm grateful for this year: my loving family, my kind husband, my healthy son, our relatively clean apartment, my neighbors and friends, my testimony, the temple, play group, dates with Brent, my jogging stroller, ateachermom, Primary, visiting teaching, air conditioning, all physical comforts, good health, prescription meds that fix my thyroid problem, wise grandparents, vacations, when easily Isaac goes down for naps and bedtime, beautiful weather, facetime with my family, dark chocolate, Isaac's kissable cheeks, friends from far away who call to chat, the fact that Brent only has to travel once a month now, water heaters, fresh fruit, quality entertainment, a safe neighborhood, General Conference talks, trees (CA feels like a desert after living in Houston), soothing music, christmas trees, warm soup, fresh lemonade (with lemons from my Grandma's lemon bush), playing games, dinner parties, Relief Society, good books, the mormon channel, strangers who tell me Isaac is cute, a fun extended family, Marie's mission call to South Dakota, my ancestors, my marriage, and motherhood.

2012 was a year of change, growth, stress, and challenges. But was also filled with love and goodness. I may feel weak at times, but I've held on. I'm glad I made this list. I feel very blessed.