Book Review: Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie Mongan

The main idea proposed in this book is that relaxation is the key to birthing. When you relax, your body can do what it was designed to do without interference from the tension that builds up as a result of fear and pain. I have friends that have used this method of birthing and have had very positive results. And I have actually decided to take a HypnoBirthing class. So, I definitely recommend this book.

My only complaint is the title. Hypnobirthing just sounds so cooky to me. To me, hypnosis = weird! I was so worried about it, I actually called my uncle who is a psychologist and a dean at BYU to ask his opinion. What he said confirmed exactly what the book explains: hypnosis is intense focus in deep relaxation. You don't lose any control. You just are so focused and so relaxed that time passes more quickly. My uncle compared it to driving a familiar route and when you arrive you think, "How did I get here?" because you were so absorbed. And that's actually the same analogy the book uses as well. In fact, as the book described the techniques of breathing, relaxation, and visualization -- I was very much reminded of an experience I had at the BYU Bio-Feedback Lab.

The purpose of the Bio-Feedback Lab is to assess your stress level and teach relaxation techniques. During my senior year, I went down to the BYU Counseling Center to sign up for a session at the lab when I was feeling VERY stressed. Unfortunately, they were booked for a week. By the time I had my appointment, I was actually feeling pretty good, but I decided to go anyway. They had me take a survey about what caused stress in my life and what I did to manage it. Then they had me sit in a comfy leather recliner, hooked my finger up to a temperature monitor, and put some sort of electrode monitor on my forehead-- I guess to measure my brain activity. Then, I listened to a relaxation track on a CD-- one that took me through some different relaxation techniques, including muscle relaxation and visualization. It was awesome!! At the end of the session, the temperature of my hand had increased by 4 degrees (the colder your hands are, the more stressed out you are) and my brain waves showed signs of relaxation as well. As I said, I felt pretty good when I went into the Lab, but I was on Cloud 9 when I walked out! I wish I could have gone every day.

Now, do I think I'll feel like that in labor? Not necessarily. This book does claim that labor can be painless for some women-- that women describe feeling pressure, but no pain. And that would be great, but I think that sets a pretty high expectation. However, I do think that the techniques in the book will help me stay calm and keep me from emotionally freaking out, which I am prone to do. :-) And do believe I will feel less pain using these techniques than without them.

Basically, this book helps you emotionally prepare for birth--helping you develop a positive attitude about birth and teaching you how to stay calm throughout every phase of labor. And an added plus-- no naked pictures!

Life is Hard; Life is Good

My Grandma Sheranian is very sick. She has been battling Ovarian Cancer, Stage IV on and off for the last 18 months and has stopped pursuing treatment. She has been so brave! As my friend Dave, who is battling cancer for the third time in his life can attest, cancer is no fun!! You spend a lot of time in the hospital, you get poked by needles all the time, you often get to have surgeries--sometimes more than once, and you never have energy.

It seems like the longer I live and the more people I meet, the more I realize that life is hard. My parents wisely  protected me from the difficulties of life as a child-- and I am grateful. Perhaps because I have had such a stable, good life, I am all the more surprised by the how much others suffer--sometimes because of their own choices, but often because of events beyond their control. And I'm surprised when I have to suffer--even in small ways-- because so often I expect life to be easy all the time.

And it seems like when I talk to other people about disease, aging, death, or other life challenges, one or the other of us will say, "Life is hard!"  And that is true.

But life is also good!

The good memories really do outweigh the bad. The blessings we receive each day-- food, shelter, family, friends, employment-- outweigh the challenges. And just like the Book of Mormon teaches, the hard times bring greater sweetness to the good.

Brent and I spent a week in Utah together last month and had such a wonderful time visiting family, enjoying the cool weather, and most of all spending time with each other. It was fun to be in the place where we were married on our first anniversary. It has been such a good year-- hard in a lot of ways, but good!!!

The future is full of potential and hope if we face it with faith.

Book Review: Active Birth

Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally by Janet Balaskas (1992) argues that movement and positioning during pregnancy and labor can have a huge impact on the birthing process. The first part of the book explains the physiology behind why certain positions during labor and birth hinder the process while others help. Then the middle portion of the book explains a series of yoga exercises  and stretches (with helpful photos) that can help strengthen and prepare you for giving birth. And the last part of the book gives practical advice on what to do during labor-- including what to do if you choose to get an epidural-- and how to help accelerate the healing process after birth.

I felt that overall this book was much more useful to me than Ina May's book. I plan on using the exercises and advice about how to stay comfortable during labor. And I liked that this book didn't make me feel like getting an epidural would be evil, since depending on my situation I may choose that option.

I would definitely recommend this book to any pregnant woman-- whether she is planning on a hospital birth, home birth, or water birth, and whether she is planning on a medicated birth or not. My only caution is that this book has many graphic photographs of completely naked women giving birth. Why, oh why? To me birth is such a private sacred thing, I don't think pictures are necessary. But other than that, I think this book is great. I plan on reading long sections of it to Brent.

Book Review: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

I have been reading a lot of books in preparation to have this baby and thought I'd share some brief book reviews. 

Ina May Gaskin, the author of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, is probably one of the most influential people in the natural childbirth movement. Her book, unsurprisingly, challenges conventional thought about childbirth and aims at empowering women to believe in their natural ability to birth--with as few interventions as possible. 

The first half of the birth is comprised entirely of birth stories, most of which take place at The Farm, a birthing center in Tennessee that Gaskin founded. Her purpose in including so many birth stories is to help women see how birth works without medication and common hospital interventions--how the mind and body are connected and how birth generally can be an uncomplicated, calm experience. I skimmed this section because although some of the stories I read seemed helpful, others seemed to give my anxiety-- which ironically was the opposite of Gaskin's intended effect. (Another important note about this section: there were a lot of graphic birthing pictures-- so this is not a book you want lying around the house for anyone to pick up.) 

The second half of the book focuses a lot on the history and politics of childbirth--which I also skimmed. However, there were some helpful chapters in which Gaskin discusses the mind-body connection and gives evidence as to how labor is affected by the thoughts and feelings of the mother. She argues if there is fear or anxiety or lack of privacy, these emotions can slow or even stop labor. She says to aid in the progression of labor laughter, relaxed breathing, and increased privacy can help. In fact, she suggests that labor usually progresses very well while sitting on the toilet. She additionally advocates upright labor positions in order to maximize the help of gravity and the angle of the pelvis. 

Again, the majority of the second half of the book takes a very anti-hospital stance and tells horror stories that I suppose are meant to be educational, but primarily seemed to push her own agenda. The most interesting thing in the second half of the book is what Gaskin calls the Sphincter Law. And I'm glad I read the book just for this information. If you're interested, you can google it. I just wasn't sure how to talk about here without getting too graphic.

I would definitely recommend this book if you are interested in the history and controversies surrounding childbirth, but if you are looking for a book that will help you give birth, this probably isn't quite the right book. 

Our Little Guy

Here are some pictures of little Baby B (B for boy and Brent Jr.). We don't have a name for him yet--and probably won't until he's born, but here's a little peek at what he looked like at 18 weeks 6 days. Brent scanned these at work and put in the captions himself. My favorites are the first two on the right where it looks like he's waving at us. :-) So cute! 

These scans didn't come out as clear as the actual photos, but you get the idea. Proof that he's in there!

The Ultrasound

When the ultrasound began, the tech had the monitor turned towards her so I couldn't see it, but Brent could. His face just lit up as soon as it began. It's kind of surprising to realize that there IS a little baby inside of me. After just a few seconds Brent mouthed to me with wide, smiling eyes, "I think it's a boy!" And I started laughing so hard the ultrasound tech had to stop for a second because I was bouncing the baby. And then she said, "So, do you want to know what it is?" And we said, "Yes....!" And she said, "It's a boy!"

I was so pleasantly surprised! I didn't have any impressions of the baby's gender, but for some reason it's much easier for me to imagine my body making a girl than a boy, so a boy felt like a surprise.

There is a boy inside of me!! Weird, huh?!

Unfortunately I can't post pictures of the ultrasound yet because we don't have a scanner. Eventually I'll get to FedEx and do that, but I just have to say that he's really cute (in a freaky sort of alien way).

During the ultrasound he was really kicking and thrashing, but I couldn't feel a thing. I think in a few weeks I'll be in for it! We got some great shots of him looking right at the "camera" and even one of him yawning (or swallowing--it's hard to tell).

He looks perfectly healthy, but they have to do another ultrasound at my next appointment because he was too small to get a good look at his heart. He measured for 19 weeks exactly, which is just where I am at. So we're still aiming for the middle to end of December.

All I know is that I better get in shape to keep up with this little one! I can't wait to meet him!

Boy or Girl?

A week from today we will find out if Baby Monson #1 is a girl or a boy (that is if the baby cooperates during the ultrasound). What do you think it will be?

Trying to the Live the Word of Wisdom

The Word of Wisdom is the code of health that Mormons follow. It was given as a revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1833. His wife Emma complained about cleaning up after all the tobacco the men would spit on the floor and asked Joseph what could be done. He prayed about it and received a revelation that admonished members of the Church to abstain from alcohol, coffee, tea, and tobacco. This is the part of the Word of Wisdom most people are familiar with, but the revelation includes many more instructions including to eat fruit "in the season thereof" and to eat meat "sparingly" and especially "in times of winter, or of cold, or famine."

As members of the Church, I think we generally do a lot better at the DO NOTs than the DO parts of the Word of Wisdom. At least, that's how it is for me. But since I have a strong aversion to meat this summer and an increased appetite for fruits in season-- especially blueberries, raspberries, and grapes--I feel like (in some ways) I'm doing a lot better at living the Word of Wisdom than normal.

On the other hand, I feel like there's a lot more I could be doing. My diet is definitely lacking in terms of vegetables and legumes. I am in no way the living model of a balanced diet. But it's good to know that God cares about our health and knows what we eat affects how we feel-- even what we do. And it's good to know that that He has given us an ideal to strive for.

The blessings promised in the Word of Wisdom are health, energy, wisdom, and even salvation. Things I need! And interestingly, the revelation also mentions that this health code is given as a means to avoid the "evil designs . . . of conspiring men." With all the crazy marketing these days for diet foods, etc. I'm not surprised.

Now that I've been on a forced "cleanse" of sorts, I hope that when my normal appetite returns, I can make wise choices about what to eat and get lots of blessings in return. :-)

Pregnancy Update

Thank you, friends, for being so excited for me! Here's a little more info:

I am 15 weeks along and my due date is December 14th--although that is subject to change. At my first appointment, I had an ultrasound and the baby measured for a December 18th due date. My CNM (nurse midwife-- more on that later) said she didn't want to change my due date quite yet. So we'll see if they change it when I have my next ultrasound. If they do change it, we very possibly could have a Christmas baby (since most first babies tend to be overdue).

I still feel sick, but I am feeling relatively better. I got a prescription for Zofran (an anti-nausea drug they give to chemotherapy patients), which allows me to eat more food. However my ability to eat a wide variety of foods has yet to return. The only things that appeal to me are fruit, cereal, nuts, bread, cheese (sometimes), and today I got really adventurous and had some french toast. (I guess this may be slightly overstated because I did eat rice and re-fried beans when I was in CA last week. But that was a one-time deal, and I kind of had an uncomfortable night after.)

I've lost 10 lbs. since the beginning of my pregnancy, and I still haven't gained anything back, but I'm hoping I will soon. (Ten pounds on my body isn't a big deal % wise--so not to worry.) But this whole sickness thing is definitely a new experience for me. Never in my life have I had difficulty eating. Never have I had to think, "Dang it! I don't think I had enough calories today!" Never have I thought "I hate food. I never want to eat again."  As my Foodie post of just a few months ago reveals, the true Sarah loves food, loves to think about food, and loves to make food. I only hope I am not so psychologically scarred by this pregnancy that the true Sarah will never return. I want her back!!!!!

On the bright side, I really am feeling better. I've gone stretches of up to 10 days without throwing up. I have energy to do things around the house. And I mostly just start to feel sick at the end of the day or when I push myself too hard. Sundays in Primary are so high-energy, I usually pay for it on Monday. I'm learning how to hold back even when I'm feeling pretty good so I don't ruin the following day.

We'll find out if we are having a boy or a girl on July 19th. I'll be almost 19 weeks along-- so it's a little early for the BIG ultrasound. But my CNM thought we should just cancel my 16 week appointment and move up my 20 week appointment to make my life easier. No complaints here! I am very excited to put a more personal pronoun (he/she) with the baby. Brent and I are thrilled to be the parents of either a boy or girl, but after reading this article about the millions upon millions of female fetuses that have been aborted because their parents wanted a boy, there is a very angry part of me that wants to shout to the world, "I AM PREGNANT WITH A GIRL AND PROUD OF IT!!!"

However,  I look at little boys and think, "I want one!" And I look at little girls and think, "I want one!" So we will be happy no matter what-- as long as it's one or the other, as Brent says. :-) In fact, I think it's kind of funny that people ask our preference. Really, even if we had a preference-- telling them before we know the gender of the baby sets us up to look like fools if we don't get what we "wanted." Besides, it's not like we have control of these things NOR should we-- as the book review above proves. And in reality, I know that when people ask us this, they are really just expressing interest in our pregnancy, which we appreciate.

At the risk of making this post way to long, I'll share one more tidbit--about my health care provider. It's hard to choose a doctor! Especially when you live in a big city, with a renowned medical center. Even within my ward, practically every women has a different OBGYN. And I even have 10+ hospitals to choose from. Crazy! So to make it simple, I researched a few options and decided to try one out and go from there. It was a recommendation from a ward friend who is a mother-baby nurse professionally, and she just had a baby this year. It's a group of 5 CNMs who work in a large practice called the Women's Specialists of Houston. The great things is that they are all women, they all are mothers, and they all have been doing this for years. They deliver in Texas Children's Hospital which has the highest level NICU that exists. And they show up when you show up at the hospital (not just to catch the baby at the end). They are veterans of helping women through unmediated births, but right now I'm pretty sure I'll want an epidural as soon as I can get one. And they are all for that as well.

It's a unique situation because when I say to people "my doctor" (because it's a lot easier than explaining all of this) I'm really talking about 5 different women. I will have appointments with all 5 of them during my pregnancy, and then whoever happens to be on call when I go into labor will be my special woman. I feel like this situation gives them better work-life balance and me better care. My only fear is that if we move from Houston and have more children, no other experience will compare.

If you read this far, you are a true friend indeed. I expect to be back to blogging more regularly and welcome your comments. :-)

My Hero

This man is my hero. For the past two months I have not blogged. I have not cooked. I have barely cleaned.  I have sometimes done laundry . . . but rarely folded that laundry. I have dragged myself to the grocery store when necessary. And I have never done dishes. 

But I have taken a lot of naps. Eaten more pretzels than anyone should consume in their lifetime. And seen the inside of my toilet way too often!! 

Yay for being pregnant!!! Nay for being sick!!! And thank goodness for a wonderful  husband who I couldn't live without.  Brent, thank you for picking up the pieces and helping me through each day!