The Good in Struggling

Isaac has yet to master the skill of rolling over-- or to even do it once for that matter. And this is perfectly normal for his age. But to help him out, we have been giving him lots of tummy time so he can develop muscles in his neck, back, and shoulders.

However, Isaac doesn't really love it. He's learning to tolerate it for longer stretches, but usually he grunts and struggles and eventually complains loudly enough that I come rescue him. But every day-- multiple times a day-- we repeat this. I let him struggle because I know it's good for him. He needs to get stronger, and he needs to learn how to control his body. If we never gave him tummy time, his head would be extremely flat and he would take much longer to develop the muscles he needs in the future.

So, I've been thinking about struggling. Doesn't God do the same thing? He lets us struggle to make decisions, struggle to find answers, struggle to figure out problems. Because it's good for us.

As a missionary in South Africa, I remember talking with a man who lived in a lovely, average-sized home with a beautiful view. His single daughter and granddaughter lived with him. He seemed to live a good life. But when we asked him why he wasn't interested in religion, he told us it was because God had abandoned him in his life. He told us he had faced difficult trials (including bankruptcy, if I remember correctly)-- even though he had prayed to be delivered from them. "If God loved me, why would He allow me to suffer?" he asked. The man told us he had decided to ignore God because he felt ignored by Him.

I was surprised that he could really think this. Aren't there a ton of examples in the scriptures of people who suffered even though they were righteous? Like Sarah, Rebecca, and Rachel all waiting years and years to have children. Or Joseph who was sold into slavery by his very own brothers? What this man didn't understand is that God is a parent-- a perfect one at that. He's not a "helicopter" dad who will save us from our poor choices or choose our careers for us. Instead, He steps back and allows us to struggle if it means it will help us grow-- which (unfortunately) it almost always does. But in the end, we are better off-- and actually have more freedom. Just like Isaac will-- once he figures this rolling over thing out.

The Isaac Fan Club

Isaac sure has a lot of admirers! They can't stop looking at him!

(Isaac and JiJi) 

(Isaac and Baba) 

 (Isaac and Grandpa) 

(Isaac and Grandma)

Consistency

Ever since Isaac was born, I have been trying all sorts of things to help him sleep better during the day. At first, he would rarely stay asleep after I put him down. So if I wanted him to nap, I pretty much had to hold him. Then as he grew older, I realized that if he woke up a few minutes after I put him down and I tried to put him down again, he would usually stay down longer the second time. For a few weeks I felt like it was up, down, up, down, up down. For every nap, I had to put him down about 3 times.

I kept wondering what was wrong. Why wouldn't he stay down?! Why wouldn't he sleep longer?! So I tried swaddling him. I tried not swaddling him. I tried putting him in his crib, and putting him in his rocker, and putting him in his pack n play. I tried giving him his pacifier. I tried letting him cry.

And then I had an epiphany: it probably didn't matter what I did, I just needed to be consistent!

In the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, the author Marc Weissbluth (a pediatrician), argues that, "Babies and children learn to sleep when parents focus on timing [meaning you watch your baby for signs of tiredness-- not the clock], motionless sleep [meaning not in the car, a moving swing, or stroller, etc.], and consistency in soothing style" (229). Consistency!

So for the past two weeks, I have been putting him to sleep in the same place and soothing him the same exact way for all his naps. For us, this means swaddling him, holding him upright against my chest, and while patting his back firmly, and saying "shhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhh." We've been doing this to soothe him to sleep for a while now (and it works), but when he started to get crankier (around week 7), I felt like it wasn't working because he was so resistant. However, I recommitted, and kept trying.

And . . .  finally, this week it has paid off!! He's been going down for naps much more easily than last week. And although some of his naps are still on the short side, he has also taken some 90 min naps-- and even a 2-hour nap! Yay!

And so I've been thinking about consistency. It truly is a principle of power. I remember a friend once shared something he had learned in the scriptures-- that consistency was one of the great attributes of God (see Heb. 13:8; 1Nephi 10:18; Mormon 9:9). This friend suggested that if we focus on being consistent-- specifically in keeping the commandments-- we can become more like Him.

Life feels better when there is consistency, and I've realized that I need a lot more of it in my life. Like, more consistent exercise. More consistent cleaning. More consistent religious study. Maybe doing these things perfectly-- or even exceptionally-- doesn't matter as much as just doing them, and doing them consistently!*


*Julie B. Beck discusses this concept in an interview on motherhood that can be found here. It is one of the most insightful discussions I have ever heard. In one portion of the interview, she talks about the importance of precision over perfection-- which I think is basically the same point I'm trying to make. 

Isaac: 2 Months

Isaac is getting big! At his 2-month appointment he weighed in at 13 lbs. 13 oz. (93rd percentile) and was 24 inches long (87th percentile). His eyelashes are growing out, which really makes him cute. And it has been so fun to watch his little fat rolls develop. (But they definitely are hard to clean; we're always finding lint between his chubby fingers and under all his chins.)

One of his recent developments has been the discovery of his right arm. He can entertain himself for quite a while by watching his right fist move around, like a jedi knight trying to control a floating droid. It's pretty hilarious. He doesn't quite have full control over his arms yet, but he's getting there. He has also learned how to smile and coo. Again, he is only beginning to have control, so sometimes he moves from a smile to a pouty face back to a smile in just a second. He's only well-rested enough to smile a few times a day though, so we haven't caught one on camera yet. Isaac is still not a big fan of tummy time and only lasts about 5-10 minutes before he starts complaining loudly. He can hold his head up quite well, but isn't pushing himself up off the ground quite yet. 

His favorite past-times are looking at himself in the mirror above his swing, looking at the mobile Brent made for him (future post on that to come), looking around the bathroom while getting his diaper changed on his changing pad, reading books, and taking baths. It's especially cute to watch him when we read books. He gurgles and coos like he is trying to read with you. 

He is still learning how to sleep for long stretches. The longest stretch he has ever slept is 5 hours, and that only happens about once a week. He often will get up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours in the night. The hard part is that sometimes after I feed him, he has a hard time settling back down. Sometimes he will grunt and struggle and cry; and I'm up again only 15 minutes after I put him down. Naps times are getting better but still a battle. He takes about 3-4 naps a day, which usually last 30- 45 minutes. Sometimes, I feel like all I do all day is feed him and soothe him to sleep. 

The biggest change that has occurred in the last few weeks is his crying. It's much harder to get him to sleep, and his protest cries are more loud and fierce than they ever were before. It just seems like he's constantly cranky. We're trying to get him to bed earlier and put him down for naps whenever he seems tired (even if it's after he's only been awake for an hour). Hopefully, he will be able to catch up on enough sleep to be a happy baby again. And HOPEFULLY, he will learn how to sleep better. Who knew it was such a hard thing to learn? 

Aunt Marie

My sister Marie is living with us during her semester off from BYU-Idaho. It has been so wonderful to have her here! She is working full-time as a nanny for a friend of mine, but when she's not at work, she gets to play with Isaac and keep me company. She's so easy-going and helpful around the house.We don't want to ever let her go!! Plus, there is NOTHING like having an in-house babysitter! Brent and I were even able to go to the temple on Saturday!

Isaac already loves his Aunt Marie. In fact, he's already smiled for her a few times. And it's pretty clear that Marie adores him too:

Don't worry, KaRynn. You'll get lots of Isaac-lovin' time too!! 

One Week Birthday

A tradition started in the Sheranian family when I was born. My Grandma, Jean Sheranian, was helping out my parents in Provo after my birth and decided to bake a cake for my one-week birthday. Grandma usually makes a beautiful three-layer round cake, but because my newlywed parents didn't have any round cake tins, she make it in the only pan they had: a 9x13 rectangular pan. 

After grandma decorated the cake with my name on it, everyone realized that I was just about the same size as the cake. So they put me and the cake down on a blanket and snapped a picture. It was so cute that Grandma continued to make cakes on the one-week birthday of every baby born in our family. 

So of course, we had to continue the tradition! I thought it was very sweet that even though my Grandma Sheranian couldn't be there, Isaac's Grandma Sheranian was the one to bake the cake. We put a yummy twist on the tradition by making a chocolate banana cake and frosting it with whipped cream instead of frosting. Oh my goodness! It was delicious! 

Crisis Averted

The other day, I was walking from the kitchen to the bathroom with a gallon of bleach in my hand, when the top popped off and bleach splashed onto the carpet. Thank goodness both Marie and Brent were home. I yelled, "AH! I just spilled bleach on the carpet. Hurry! Hurry!" I put down the container and grabbed the kitchen towels and immediately started soaking up the bleach. Marie ran to the bathroom to get our old towels and Brent got a bucket of water. We took turns soaking up the bleach, pouring water on the site of the spill, and soaking it up more. We repeated this again and again as Marie looked up online about what to do with a bleach spill. Turns out you should do exactly what we did: 1. Immediately, soak up as much as you can. 2. Then dilute the area and continue to blot (not rub) the carpet. They also suggested using a water and vinegar solution, so we did that as well. AMAZINGLY, the carpet did not get bleached. However, my nice kitchen towels did. Oh, well. It could have been a lot worse!

Body-Mind Connection

Whenever I burp Isaac, I burp. Isn't that weird? In fact, I'm more likely to burp than he is. My conclusion is that when I think "burp," I burp. 

And the other day when I was coming back from the grocery store alone, I was thinking about Isaac and how cute he is, and my milk let down. Just thinking about him caused a response in my body. To me that is crazy-- and miraculous. 

Our minds and bodies really are connected!