Reflections on Moving

As I was unpacking and organizing, I found a piece of paper with a short, scribbled essay that I wrote during the Central Utah Writing Project. The CUWP was a 4 week course about teaching writing I attended during the summer of 2010. Dr. Debbie Dean and Dr. Chris Crowe-- two of my favorite BYU professors taught the course, and I had SO much fun. It was the perfect non-wedding thing to keep me busy and focused while engaged. 

One of the activities we did was a “walk-about” in downtown American Fork, UT. We wandered around, found interesting attractions-- be it the city hall, a hidden park, or a strange store, and then sat and wrote about them-- or whatever came to mind. 

I shared a lot of my writing during CUWP on this blog, but I didn't share this piece of writing (which I wrote during one of the walk-abouts) because it was so emotionally charged for me. . . and mostly because I didn't want to make Brent nervous by expressing my reservations about moving to Houston. But now that we've been here a year, I feel it is time to share. Keep in mind that I wrote this in about 10 minutes and that I pretty much transcribed it exactly as the original (I only broke up the paragraphs for clarity.)

Going into that antique store got me thinking about decorating. Soon I will arrive at an apartment in Houston with a truckload of belongings but almost not furniture and a limited budget.  And I feel nervous. Decorating is one of those small things that makes a big difference. It’s the way you accept a new space as your own. It’s how you can change a cold, uninviting place into a home.

All my life I’ve dreamed of having my own home to decorate and care for just how I wanted. But now that the day is approaching, I feel a little overwhelmed by the thought. Maybe it’s because I’m moving 1500 miles across the country to a place where I have never been and where I will have no family (besides a husband of 1 month, of course). I’m excited, but nervous. So many changes at once. Will I make friends? Will I find a good job? How long will it be before I feel “at home” in Houston?

The truth is I’ve done this before. As a missionary I had a hard time adjusting to South Africa, but after a few months, it became a part of me. I know I can do it again, but it still feels like a leap of faith.

I’m actually glad I get to decorate our apartment with my paintings, my books, my pictures. Moving all my belongings to a new place will help me move my heart.

It's interesting to reflect back on these feelings of anxiety. In the weeks after our wedding as we prepared to move, I cried-- more than once-- because of the stress and anxiety I felt. Poor Brent, as a brand new husband, wasn't sure exactly how to react. He, very seriously, asked me if we shouldn't move. Obviously he wasn't used to my way of coping with stress. I told him, "Of course not! I just need to cry about it." :-)

But all my anxieties were just that-- unwarranted fears. I actually felt "at home" in Houston during our first week here. It's the most amazing, seamless transition I've ever made into a city. The noise, the lack of stars, the crazy drivers, the ethnic and racial diversity didn't phase me a bit because of my upbringing in L.A. and experiences on my mission. And really, the pattern of our lives-- our habits, our relationship as a couple, and the types of friends we made-- really didn't change. The move was so much easier than I had anticipated. Taking the first step was the hardest part.

Blessings of Friendship

This last weekend, Brent and I moved apartments. We are now in a 2-bedroom on the second floor (instead of a 1-bedroom on the third floor), and we're 15 minutes closer to Brent's work. Plus we are right next door to our chapel-- I mean right next door. If I stick my head out my bedroom window, I can see it. With all the church activities and meetings we attend, we'll probably save a few tanks of gas over the course of the next year. And the best part is that the neighborhood is quiet and beautiful. We wavered back and forth about whether or not to move, but we are so happy we made this choice.

One of my major concerns was moving so late in my pregnancy (I'm 32 weeks), but it went better than I could have imagined! Not only did our friends help us move out and then into our new apartment, but they also helped me completely clean the old apartment-- in under 3 hours! We had 6 men show up and 5 women--plus me and Brent. (Although I have to admit, I was the least helpful. I actually didn't move a thing.)

When Brent returned the truck to U-Haul 5 hours early (I reserved it all day just in case), the woman working there was surprised. Brent told her we had about 12 friends come over to help us move. In shock, she asked, "What did you pay them?!" Brent said, "Oh we bought them some kolaches." (Kolaches are rolls filled with meat, cheese, and/or egg that are sold at doughnut shops and are very popular in Texas.) She said, "THAT'S ALL??!"

While we were cleaning, one of my friends told me that a co-worker asked what her plans were for this weekend. When she said, "Oh, we're helping some friends move," the co-worker couldn't believe it. It seems like no one helps each other out these days.

When Brent and I told each other the stories, we laughed-- but also felt sad that some people don't have a network of friends they can rely on for service. This is one of the greatest blessings of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to me. In the Church, we friend each other in a culture of service. It is not weird or strange to ask for help when needed because not only is it expected, it's also reciprocal. Our friends know that when they ask for our help, we will be there!

Obviously this kind of network of friends is not unique to our Church-- and there are many people who have this kind of service network who may not attend any church. But I feel like especially in the big city, where people live so independently, this kind of community network is rare. And I think that's unfortunate. I wonder how many social problems would be cured if we just took better care of our neighbors, of our friends-- if we watched out for each other.